Sunday, May 4, 2008

Choose Your Own Adventure: Vendors in the Old City

The other day you had a lot of free time so you go in a group of 3 out into the city. First you go to Aladdin's (pronounced "Al - ah - deen"), the money changer. Now that you have shekels, sunglasses, and water, you are armed to venture into the Old City of Jerusalem. Many of the streets in the Old City have shops on both sides filled with exciting wares, food, or questionable artifacts. There isn't enough room for a car to drive down the street. The streets all have coverings, whether it be cloth or a piece of plywood or a nice patio cover. A whole world of opportunity awaits you! CHOOSE: (VENDOR ONE) (VENDOR TWO) (HARLEY) (HOLY SEPLECHRE) (VENDOR THREE) (END)

VENDOR ONE
You meet a man, barter with him. He sells you two pairs of lovely authentic earrings. Your roommate buys one pair. The boy who is with you is obliged to watch the man show him approximately 20 necklaces that he could buy for his "special friend." Your friend has 10 shekels, about 3 dollars, so you talk to the shop owner about scarves. Now that the man is appropriately distracted from the 100 shekel necklaces, you make your escape. CHOOSE: Vendor 2, Harley, Holy Seplechre, Vendor 3, End


(VENDOR TWO)
You walk down a less crowded street, starting to feel the heat of the day and glad you're by the shops where it's shaded. Your group pauses to drink some water. You see a store owner stand up and beckon you into his store. "No, no," you say, dreading the thought of entering yet another store. "No price to look," he says, and you grudgingly agree and follow your group into the store. It's less crowded than other stores are, and overall very clean and organized. You notice the proprietor to be a large man, both muscle and...not muscle. You are acutely aware that if it came to a fight, you would probably faint before he swung his first punch.

"You from America?" he asks. Your group has been told not to draw attention to yourself as Americans, as sometimes the Middle Eastern peoples are not in favor of us. Unsure how to respond, you pause, but one of your two companions says helpfully, "We're from BYU."
"Oh!" says the owner. "Mormons! You are with the new group?"
"Yes?" you say, hoping this is a good thing.
"I go to Utah next month! I go to Sandy! I love Mormons! Always so nice," he smiles.
"How much are these earrings?" you ask awkwardly.
"For Mormons, five shekel any pair you want!"
Having just bartered another pair of earrings down to 16 sheckel from 28, you eagerly attack the options, along with your female co-patriot. Your male companion says, even more awkwardly, "I live in Sandy."
At some point, the owner says, "I am going outside my shop. I know, Mormons, they don't like my cigarette. I will finish it outside."
You purchase a pair of earrings and a very exciting necklace, promise Emar (the owner, pronounced "eee - mahr") you'll tell everyone, and be back before he leaves to go to Sandy. CHOOSE: Vendor 1, Vendor 3, Harley, Holy Seplechre, End


HARLEY
Walking down the street, you see a person hop on their huge motorcycle and zoom off down the street, many people fleeing from the oncoming vehicle. CHOOSE: vendor 1, vendor 2, vendor 3, holy seplechre, end.

Vendor THREE
Walking down the street, a man taps your female companion on the shoulder. "You Mormons?" he asks.
"Yes!" you all cry in unison.
"Come to my shop, Ali-Baba's. You have heard of me, yes?" You all assure him that this is the case, and for two of you it really is. Upon entering his shop, he says, "I am always the best shop for the students. The Mormon University, they like me. Normally, I give coffee or tea to visitors, but the Mormons, I give you juice!" You are handed a cup of juice. You look at your companions and they at you, decide through subtle and yet powerful eye communication that the juice is not poisonous. You all drink. It is hot outside, and the non-poisonous juice is beautiful and mango-y.
Around his shop, you notice very catered items: leather, hand-tooled scripture cases that say "JERUSALEM" and have the city etched on them. He says his name is Shaban, and he is a craftsman: he engraves rings, necklaces, leather, etc. with anything you might desire. He has the cheapest prices (except for Emar. They have different wares but cheap prices.) You purchase a lovely Persian-designed pashmina scarf and are on your way. CHOOSE: vendor 1, vendor 2, harley, holy seplechre, end.

HOLY SEPLECHRE
There are two possible places in Jerusalem that are likely for the location of the crucifixion and the tomb. One is the Garden Tomb (you saw this last Saturday, your Shabbat or Sabbath, which you celebrate on Saturday along with the rest of Jerusalem), and the other is the Holy Seplechre. This is a church in the Old City. It's very crowded, but your group goes in and sees the rock of anointing, waits in line to see/touch/kiss (none of you do this. perhaps a previous kisser had mono, and we could get it?) the stone that has, possibly, the indentation of the cross on it. The Seplechre itself has a line that you can find no end to, so you take a picture from the outside and walk around, looking at various altars. You exit and go back outside. CHOOSE: Vendor 1, Vendor 2, Vendor 3, Harley, End.


END.

3 comments:

Jennie C said...

I can't believe it! In just a few minutes in "choose your own adventure" I have managed to purchase a beautiful scarf, plus get earrings and juice. It took all day in Tangier, and even then the scarf was veerrryy expensive, not beautiful, and iffy quality. I like your adventures, Sariah!

Krista Beaman said...

That was most ASTONISHING! Well done well done! I can't believe you missed the chance to get Jewish mono, though. I mean, REALLY:) But you'll still have a chance to get Egyptian cholera if you're aiming for the experience...

Anonymous said...

Dang! 5 shekels for a pair earrings? Steal of a deal! That's better than Burlington Coat Factory! ;}