Security

Over the last two days here we've had many orientations dealing with security and safety regulations. They are trying to comfort us, I think, because nothing is really very likely but it is always a possibility because we're in the Middle East. These are some of the choice phrases over these two days that are quite funny, given that they're supposed to make us feel better (don't be scared, I just wrote them down because they were funny and no we're not going to die or get blown up):

"Be careful. There are lots of snakes here. Many of them are not poisonous."
(many? what about the rest of them? can we tell a difference?)

"In case of other hazards, such as weather, or war..."
(I love how "war" is right up there with "miscellaneous hazards")

"Don't worry about the Israeli army with the machine guns. If they have to shoot, they wouldn't dare shoot an American."
(I was quite shocked when walking around I noticed lots of boys holding guns. I asked, "are those real?" and was informed that guns in the Middle East are not usually fake.)

"Good news: last semester was a grope-free semester for our girls! Even in Egypt!"
(oh good! is it that common that a semester with no groping is so exciting?)

"If you leave a bag unattended in East Jerusalem - don't try this - the bomb squad will be there in five minutes and you will soon find the bag in pieces." (Apparently this actually happened once; the Israeli police shot someone's scriptures. After that they were relaly holy!!)

"If there's a fire, leave the building. You might have to jump over lots of rosebushes, but at least that's an option." (good to know we have options.)

"This is the laundry room. Oh yes, it's also the bomb shelter."
(so you can keep clean while you're in hiding.)